New Blog

I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. I have a brand new adventure to plan but I will be starting a new blog for it. Please visit

www.heisthebride.com

It will be about planning my dream wedding. My girlfriend and I have been talking about marriage and she agreed it might be fun to have two ceremonies. Including one where I get to be the bride.

Wax On, Wax Off

All I had ever heard about was how painful waxing is. They make fun of it in movies and on television, I've discussed it at bars and in private with girls who have had it done, I guess I needed to find out for myself. So on the Wednesday before my photo shoot I set up an appointment for a waxing.

Let me back up a little. Two months before my photo shoot I was researching waxing and I found an esthitician who had a private business doing waxings and that was all he did. I sent an email and he was generous enough to set up a free consultation.
He answered my questions about how long it would take, how long the hair would take to grow back, cost, and those sort of things. He explained how you need to follow the hairs growth patterns and how the movies made it look more painful than it really was for effect, he was very knowledgeable. When I asked him about the pain he said everyone is wired differently. He then did a couple of test spots on my arm, thigh and back. Little Band Aid size strips and warm wax cautioning that the wax might feel hot but wouldn't burn. A quick pull and the hair was gone. I was surprised at how easy and seemingly painless it was. So I set up an appointment the Wednesday before my photoshoot.

When I showed up he had me strip down and climb under the modesty sheet before he came back in to start the waxing. He started on my back, which I am lucky in that I don't have a lot of back hair. The wax was very warm and once he applied the strip, which was no longer the size of a band aid, it seemed about 2 inches wide and a foot long. The shoulders and upper back were no problem, I thought this was going to be a breeze. When he reached my lower back, where I had a little more hair, it started to hurt some. Sort of like touching a hot pan on the stove for a second. My back was done and I had survived, things were going along fine.

Then he started in on my legs. Now my legs are pretty hairy normally and you need to have at least 1/4 inch of hair in order to wax successfully. Again with the wax and the linen strip was applied and off it came. Ouch! It really does hurt. I will again go back to the touching a hot pan analogy but the thing with the hot pan is...you don't keep going back for more. This kept on and on and on, then you get a little break and you realize I have another leg to go, and my arms, and then I have to turn over and do the front. It really, really hurt.

After my legs were done front and back, I was lying on my back as he moved on to work on my arms. We had been discussing all sorts of topics and I changed the subject asking if anyone had ever just said "I can't take it anymore, I quit." He said that in all the years he had been waxing people no one had ever quit on him. He asked if I wanted to quit and I said no I was just curious but deep down I wanted to know that I was at least a little braver than some one else and for sure I didn't want to be the first person to quit.

The entire process went on for about two hours. I realize now that I would not do very well in a torture situation. I do not like pain. To be fair, the esthitician was very good, the pic above is of my legs. He was a good listener and talker trying to keep your mind off the pain and moving at a good pace. He kept asking how I was faring or if we should take a break. So I bear him no ill will. It just really hurts.

My initial plan had been a waxing from the neck down, including the private bits. This, in fact, was his area of expertise. But after the two hours I had been though I was ready to call it quits. We had discussed why I had chosen to get a waxing and my crossdressing plans for Saturday, so he knew the look I was trying to achieve. In the end I settled on cleaning up the bikini area and my backside if I wanted to wear a thong. But the genitals got a late pardon from the governor.

The day after I felt and looked a little like a plucked chicken. I had little red spots where each hair had been pulled out by the roots. I put on the lotion he had given me for the next couple of days and soon enough it felt like a mild sunburn and then it was just smooth, pale skin. I didn't get hair growing back until about a week later and even then if was very light. I was able to wear stockings very comfortably for an extended period of time which is a very fun thing for me. Even now, six weeks afterwards, I have just enough growth on my arms that I can start to wear short sleeve shirts again.

Would I do it again? Maybe. When talking with the makeup artist for my shoot she said that her friend takes a valium before hand. Maybe something to help dull the pain first would help. All I know is nothing feels sexier than a pair of nylons sliding up a hairless leg. Yummy!

Fun With Immersion

As I prepare for my photo session in a couple of weeks I think back to my week in London in 2006 and how much fun it is to do a real photoshoot. I have played around with digital photography at home plenty of times, but there is something special about a professional photoshoot. Its nice to have someone else's perspective on things. They can give you real feedback on how a particular pose looks or if your facial expression is good or bad or if you have lipstick on your teeth. I found the number of quality photos is significantly higher. By quality photo I mean one that looks somewhat like me looking like a girl versus a guy in a dress. I highly recommend trying this if you have the means.

I have come to a point where I like trying all the fun things girls get to do when getting ready for a big night. Dressing is fun but immersion is really fun. As I was preparing for the upcoming shoot I remembered something my girlfriend asked me last Halloween. Yes, my girlfriend knows, which is cool but she is still acclimating to it. She has been very supportive and will talk issues out with me but I don't know if she wants to see me dressed or not. Short story quick, I thought it would be better to tell her early on in the relationship versus being discovered. She was happy I told her and has been great about it since I told her almost a year ago. Back to what she asked me last Halloween; "Why don't you do it for more than just one night or a couple of nights in a row?" It was a pretty good question and I decided to try a long weekend this time - morning, noon and night.

I had mentioned in a previous post that I had a waxing consultation. The esthetician tried three different test spots which allowed me to see how painful it was, how long it lasted, those kinds of things. It wasn't too painful and the irritation was minimal, so I am happy to say I have a full body wax scheduled for February 20th. That will give me three days before the shoot to get rid of the redness from the waxing. This is my first step in immersion.

Secondly, I have painted my nails before, I have had a nail technician paint my nails before, I have glued on false nails before but I have never had a full set of acrylics. Side note: My girlfriend did invite me along to a manicure pedicure with her about a month ago, it was fun but it was a manly mani-pedi for me. Back to the upcoming event. I found a salon and asked if they would be OK with a man getting a pedicure with polish and a full set of nails. I would rather people were aware of what I want going in so it is easier for me and for them. I don't like to force my hobby on anyone that isn't interested. They made sure their nail tech was OK with it and now I have an appointment scheduled for Feb 22nd. This will allow me to keep the nails for the entire weekend.

Thirdly, also in a different previous post "Fun With Hair" I talked about my coloring done at the salon. My hair isn't long enough to try that again and I am a little bored with the wigs I have. Mostly because they are small and give me a headache if I wear them for too long. So in order keep on with the immersion theme, I had a lace front wig made. If you are not familiar, this is the kind of wig that Beyonce, Tyra Banks or RuPaul would wear. It is made of human hair and is adhered to your head for days or weeks depending on how long you want to wear it. It is also sized specifically for your head. It was expensive but I am looking forward to seeing how it looks and lasts.

I also just ordered a new set of breast forms off E-Bay that are self adhering too. I don't know how they will work out, they were $100 which is pretty cheap for breast forms. I am hoping they give the right weighting on my chest. Beyond that it is just the same old, same old. Trying to find cute outfits for the photo shoot and to wear around the house all weekend. It's a tough job but somebody has to do it.

New Year, New Plans

I have always enjoyed pinup art, the femininity the models convey is always something I wish I could achieve in my pictures. I have been lucky enough to have had an opportunity to try my hand at modeling a few times while dressed. The last time was in London in December of 2006. I am currently trying to set up another shoot sometime in February.

I was surfing around a few months back and I happend upon a web site that had photography for pinups. What's even better is that the studio is in my hometown. The concept for the studio was a burlesque dancer went to her photographer friend for some pinup photos for herself. This blossomed into a the idea that maybe there are women out there who want to have these kinds of photos for themselves. Kind of a retro/pinup Glamour Shots.

Since I thought this was this was the best idea ever, I decided to contact them. I explained my situation, no sense in surprising the photographer when you show up in drag. The dancer sets up the shot, does the makeup and those sorts of things. She e-mailed me back and said she had never worked with crossdressers before, at least in pinup photography, and said she would be glad to help.

This was two months ago and I have been waiting patiently to set up the appointment. Based on my schedule and my two times per year dressing up plan, I figured mid February was my best option. I sent off an e-mail the other day to schedule and I am now waiting for the reply.

In the last two months I have been diligently planning the shots I want to do. I will be going for the five photo's plan which will allow me to have a few different wardrobe changes. There are essentially two kinds of pinup shots. The "Oops" moment where the girl is "caught" in a situation with her delicates exposed. The other is just your basic look at me in my undies shot but tastefully done. I, of course, plan on doing both of these.

The studio web site suggests that you tweeze thos brows, shave/wax those legs and bikini area and polish those nails. All wonderful ideas as far as I am concerned. I found a waxing specialist and have set up a test appointment where I can have questions answered and have two test spots done for this upcoming Saturday. This is something I hae always wanted to try and I just might do it this time around assuming the test hair removal doesn't scare me away.

Next on my list is nails. I have had manicures before with a polish but I have never had a full acrylic set. I think this would be a perfect time to try. This also would mean having to remove them. I am going to do a little research on this but I think it can be done without issues. Since I will be having the nails done anyways I figure I might want to keep them for a few days too. My plan right now is to take a couple days off around a weekend and work from home one day. This would allow me to keep them for four or five days. I might just have to dress up for that many days. Oh, woes me!

Lastly, I have been looking for some fun retro clothing and lingerie. So far I have a dress picked out I want to buy. I also have made a purchase of an open bottom girdle and bullet bra. For one photo I plan to wear the girdle and bra with nylons and heels while I am "ironing" my dress before a big night out look.

Thats all for now, I will share more details as they come about. I might even post some pics here when I am done.

Halloween 2007 - part 2

OK, its been a while. I freely admit that I tend to fall out of habits for long periods of time. I do the same thing with exercise, which reminds me... Anyways, back to my Halloween adventure.

About a month before Halloween the dress arrived. I was giddy with excitement as I opened the package and pulled out what appeared to be a very well made dress. The noticed the fabric was very heavy and as I found the back zipper it looked by sight like it might just fit. I quickly undressed down to my boxers and stepped into my wedding dress for the first time. I soon discovered that measurements via e-mail are not as accurate as one would hope. The dress fit fantastic from the waist down but I clearly needed some help in the bust area. It was a strapless dress so pretty much had to fit right upstairs. I made a second attempt with a bustier and some padding but it was clear that the dress was just too big.

I found a few alteration shops and called, left voicemails, sent e-mails, explaining my situation and didn't have much luck. Finally, I found a seamtress who was willing to help me out. If you've never had alterations done to a wedding dress before, they can be pricey. She quoted me about $200 over the phone and I was a little shocked. I said I would think about it and eventually my desire to be a bride won out and I scheduled a visit. She was impressed with the quality of the dress considering it was ade in China and won on EBay. After pinning in the back she said it would be ready a week before the party. She even talked me into adding a bustle so I wouldn't have to carry around the train all night long. I'm quite grateful she did too.

Still one month before the party and just before the dress arrived, I thought I would try to disguise my intentions a little better. I called my friend Mark who I thought would be brave enough to be a bridesmaid. Once I had him on the team I enlisted the help of another friends wife, Angie, to convince her husband Art to join in the fun. We all got together and with Angie's help picked out the bridesmaid dresses. We found a website that had pretty inexpensive dresses and while I wanted them to go with the red, they were a little shy and picked out black. (Mark is in the pic on the left, Kayla from the previous post is on the right) The dresses were halter top so adjusting the size would not be an issue. Shoes were left to my bridesmaids. I let them know I was planning on going all out but again they were timid and claimed they didn't want to outshine the bride.

After my bridesmaids were settled on, there was more planning for my special night. I found a cute white satin shoe that had a two inch heel. I would be on my feet most of the night and didn't want to tire out. I also ordered up some new lingerie: a new white bustier as the dress was strapless, new panties and white stay up stockings. I toyed with the idea of garters but the dress was mermaid style so it was tight on the thighs and I didn't want to appear improper. I also called a couple of makeup artists both of whom were willing to hire their services to me but I went with the one with a more professional web site. We met once before the party so I could explain what I was looking for and she was up for the job. The best part was she would come to my house to do my makeup.

About one week before the party I went to pick up my altered dress. When I tried it on it fit like a glove, a good seamstress is a wonderful thing. Lisa had done an amazing job that was well worth the money, she even posed for a couple of pics with me in the dress, without any makeup of course.

Finally it was party weekend. That Friday before work I sent an e-mail to my bridesmaids wives that if they wanted to see the transformation they were welcome to show up at 3:00 on Saturday. They are part time stay at home moms and have a little bit of free time. Friday night I went about removing any excess body hair. Let me tell you I have planty of extra hair, I spent the better part of an hour using clippers just getting ready to shave. I also had a hair issue to work on. I had been growing my hair out for some time, not long enough to get a girls style but long enough that I could use hair clip-ons instead of a full wig. I'm sure any crossdress knows how hot a wig can get. The problem was that the clip-ons were darker than my hair, they were almost black and I have brown hair. So I tried a temporary hair dye which worked out ok but was very, very messy.

Maybe I should post a Part Three or this will be very long and that way I get to post another picture. You won't have to wait long. I will post them both the same day.

Smooth

The topic for this entry is hair. Not the good kind of hair like Debra Messing has on top of her head. I'm talking about the legs, arms, chest and belly hair that makes me look like the wolfman.

Early on in my crossdressing career I was enamored of the constrictive feel of a bra wrapped around my chest or panyhose encasing my legs. That along with the adrenalin rush from sneaking away to enjoy dressing was enough for me. Now I live alone and can dress when I want. As my crossdressing desires have evolved I have discovered an esthetic quality to it now that has become more important than just dressing alone.

I really don't like dressing now unless I am able to enjoy how much nicer stockings look and feel on a cleanly shaven leg. That has trickled over to other areas too. A bra doesn't look pretty when there are stray chest hairs poking out. A halter top dress looks gross if I have hairy underarms not to mention a forest of armhair. So I choose to get rid of it. The hair, not the halter top dress.

To reiterate, I am not public about my dressing tendancies. So in the summer, it would be very noticable if I went golfing with my buddies and I had clean shaven legs and arms. So I have taken to a seasonal shaving schedule. Right around Halloween and again in early March I am able to shave from the neck down and I enjoy a full weekend of silky soft bliss.

Here is a hint - while in the shower spread baby oil all over your clean shaven skin. Rinse it off but don't wash it off. The baby oil seals in the moisture and your skin feels like butter. I learned this from an ex-girlfriend. Yummy! One warning though, thigh high's don't work well if you do this, wear stockings and a garter belt. The elastic will slide right down your smooth legs.

Now back to the silky soft bliss. Shaving usually lasts for a couple of days before I start to see stubble. The worst part is the red bumps around those sensative areas. Stubble I can get rid of, but the bumps are there for a good week or so and I don't suggest shaving over them. This limits my dressing to a few short days twice a year. I would really like to try something a little longer lasting.

I have thought abuot getting waxed for about three years now but...someone will mention how much it hurts or I will watch The 40 Year Old Virgin waxing scene and I talk myself out of it. I still want to see for myself how bad it really is though. I am again thinking this is the year to try it. I really want more than just a couple days of stubble free legs.

I have plans on talking to a waxing technician just to get their opinion on the whole process. I already have found a salon on the web who waxes male customers. Feel free to share your stories or comments.

The Wedding Dress

It didn't take too long before I hit a lull and didn't write something in a while so here is another episode of Real Adventures in Crossdressing. I enjoyed writing about my hair coloring adventure and I thought I might enjoy writing about another adventure of mine. Writing helps me remember the event in more detail than just looking at the pictures. The adventure is the fun part.

I had just ordered my first wedding gown off of E-Bay. Yes I said my first. There's a little foreshadowing for another Real Adventure. When it finally arrived, I immediately had to try it on and was a little disappointed when I couldn't get the zipper to stay up. I eventually found the back hook closure at the top of the zipper and just like that, the zipper stayed in place and it fit like a dream. The bodice was off the shoulder with long sleeves, there was a full skirt with layers of soft tulle that puffed out nicely with the hoop skirt I had ordered with it.

At the time, I had been attending night classes at the local community college and had become familiar with the Japanese Gardens on campus. Since it was around Halloween when my gown arrived I naturally put two and two together and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to have a bridal shot with such a lovely background." and I could always blame getting caught on Halloween. I decided to scout it out one Saturday evening and as I pulled into the parking lot I discovered I was not the only person with this idea. There was an actual wedding happening as I drove up. I made a mental note that Saturday afternoon/evening was not a good idea and decided I would try Sunday morning.

That Sunday I woke up at 6:00am and started to prepare for my wedding shot. After makeup and getting dressed, I loaded my car with my camera, a set of emergency male clothes, I even had a tupperware bowl with water and a washcloth if I needed a quick clean up. I put the hoop skirt in the back of my pickup and climbed into my truck. If your looking for a challenge, try to get a full length gown situated behind the wheel of your car. It's not as simple as it might sound. Every now and again I get a glimpse of what a real girls world is like. Now I know why brides rent limosines.

When I finally pulled in at 8:30 there was a single car in the parking lot but it was parked right at the Gardens. I decided I might take a few shots on the walking path from the back parking lot to the school proper. It was a nicely wooded path where I could have some privacy. Much to my disgust I found an early morning tennis match taking place and had no way of discretely donning my hoop skirt and taking my camera off to the woods without the people playing tennis seeing me.

I looped back to the Gardens and found the lone car was pulling out of the spot leaving me all alone in the lot. I pulled my vehicle into the closest spot, quickly scanned the area and hopped out. After grabbing my camera, tripod and veil, I went to the bed of my truck to get my hoop skirt from the back and slip it on. Just as I stepped into it, I saw a big pickup pull into the lot. I quickly jammed everything back in the cab, including myself in my full gown and now hoop skirt, backed up and pulled away. Remember how hard it was to fit in the cab with just the dress, now I had on a hoop skirt. Anyways, I made another loop through the back lot and back to see a construction worker setting up to do some work on the sidewalk right by the Gardens. Come On!!! Construction! On a Sunday morning!?!?

I drove back past the tennis match and out to what is affectionally known as the Back 40. This was the overflow parking lot that was way out there from the college building. I managed to set up up for about five shots, it was really windy and the sun was too high in the sky so my eyes were all squinty and the shots look over exposed. I packed up my things and returned home with a failed mission. I immediately decided to try again the following week.

That next Sunday, I woke up at 4:00am to prepare for my day. After loading up the truck with the same gear as last time, I got all dressed up and pulled out of my driveway in the pre dawn light. An uneventful drive took me to the Gardens with the sun just brightening the day and the parking lot all to myself. I took out my camera and tripod, this time I just grabbed my underskirt and veil and decided it's now or never. I left the relative safety of my truck behind me and walked the hundred yards to the entrance of the Gardens. I saw that the large wooden door was closed and I breathed a sigh of relief as I discovered the latch was not locked. I felt a little better closing the door behind me but still felt very exposed in such a public space.

I managed to step into my hoop skirt make a few adjustments and get my veil in place before I wandered the Gardens to take my photos. There were so many little places to take a great photo. There was an arching bridge leading up to a small pagoda, a long wooden bridge over the pond and a grassy little knoll with a small waterfall behind it. I managed to walk around for half an hour taking lots of photos before I decided I had pressed my luck enough for one day. I also managed to to make it back to my car without encountering a single person. All in all it was quite a fun little adventure.

Fun With Hair

I have a few fun stories about me dressing so this will be the first episode of Real Adventures In Crossdressing. This is a true account and I'm telling you up front it does not end up Penthouse Forum style so just relax and enjoy.

In March of 2005, I had been growng my hair out for sometime and decided it was time to have some fun with it. It was March after all and is was time for one of my twice a year Becky weekends. I decided I would try to convince a hairstylist to do somthing girly with my hair as a goof. I picked a tiny salon near my house and set up an appointment on a Thursday afternoon. I sat in my car for about five minutes gathering my courage and working on my story before heading in. For any closet dressers out there you are probably very familiar with this. Spending time walking past a Victorias Secret with your stomach in knots waiting for just the right time to go in. Thinking what if someone I know sees me or what if the salegirl suspects I am shopping for me. Thankfully I am a little more courageous now but its one of those I feel like I'm doing something wrong things. Anyways...

Once I gathered my courage to go in the salon the place was basically empty and I was introduced to my stylist. She was a cute little 5'3" blonde who I was guessing was in her lower 30's. She asked if I was just here for a haircut and I decided to try my luck. I told her my "story" about how my friends wife kept bugging me about my long hair and wondered when I was going to get a permamnent or something. I was going to help him drywall later that day and wanted to surprise his wife by showing up with a girls cut. She had a confused look on her face but said ok. She wanted to know if I had anything in mind and I told her she was the expert and to do what she thought best. She thought curls would be too old lady and suggested I have my hair frosted.

As I settled in she started mixing the hair color and explained the process. Never having had my hair dyed before it was interesting. We talked and I explined how I would just be getting it cut again tomorrow trying to make my backstory feasible. Eventually we just started making small talk. She asked where I lived and and where I grew up, that sort of thing. When I told her what high school I had attended she said me too. She asked what year I graduated and it turns out the random stylist I found to give me a girls haircut was in my graduating class. Exactly the kind of thing a closet crossdresser fears. Does she know my friends? Will she tell someone who knows someone I do? Luckily my graduating class was about a thousand people. We asked several did you know Tom? No? Did you know Kelly? type of questions. We had run with different crowds and didn't have any classes together.

After she had about a hundred of those little tinfoil squares in my hair and brushed every other layer in hair color she put me under the dryer for about fifteen minutes. When I was done she made a big show about the big reveal turned me away from the mirror. Of course, there was a mirror on the other wall but I need glasses to see far things anyways. I still closed my eyes wanting the surprise as much as she did. She took the foil out and turned me back towards her mirror. I was a little shocked not having been blonde before. It hadn't been styled yet but it was definately blonde.

She spent quite a bit of time putting in some product and blowdrying plenty of body into it. I paid close attention to what she was doing because I would need to do the same thing over the course of the weekend. In the end, the back and top was very full, she set aside some bangs to pull forward and curl under. The photo shows my attempt the next day to get the same style she had done at the salon. As she finished up and we walked to the front of the salon she said she was glad I agreed to the frosting. Then she said and I quote, "This way you look like a proper young lady." Which was pretty cool and funny. If only she knew how appropriate her comment was.

I did see her again at our high school reunion about five months later. The haircut never came up, she was about three sheets to the wind and my parents had just passed away. She was very kind and told me she was sorry to hear about my parents. So I hadn't seen this girl in twenty years and here I had seen her twice in five months and the first time I I asked her to make my hair look like a girls. It just goes to show you, no matter how safe you think you are being, be ready for anything.

Dressing Season

I am a crossdresser. I have spent the better part of my life trying to understand why I do it. To tell you the truth I really don't have a good explanation, I just know that I like it. Early on, during my teenage years, there was the thrill of doing something taboo. I would dress up in pantyhose and slips I found in my mothers dresser when my parents were out. I was always careful to put things back where I had found them. Eventually I got lazy and my hobby was discovered by my parents. That wasn't much fun but it didn't stop me from wanting to dress up.

During college and after I started to aquire my own items that I kept hidden away and would sometimes find time to enjoy my special hobby. Again, part of the alure was keeping a secret that I was sure no one else would understand. Then about ten years ago I was living in my own house with a roommate. My crossdressing evolved into something different. It was no longer about sneaking around but it became about trying to achieve a complete look. It was more than just pantyhose and slips. I started to buy dresses, wigs, makeup all to better achieve a completely female form. Eventually my roommate moved out and I could dress whenever I wanted. Sneaking about had lost its appeal.

Over the last five years I have fallen into a pretty standard pattern of dressing. In the fall, just after I start to wear long pants again, I am able to remove any extra bodyhair that I have. And I have a lot of body hair. Where I used to be able to just pull on a pair of pantyhose, now I can't stand the look or feel unless my legs have been shaved. This is why I wait until the fall to start dressing again. I am also able to remove armhair because I can just wear long sleeve shirts to cover up. This usually satisfies my desire to dress for a while and then I might shave it all off agin in March. This gives me time to grow things back to normal before Summer.

Fall is just around the corner and I find myself starting to look forward to "dressing" season. I don't know why I decided to blog about this sort of thing. Maybe you are interested, maybe not, maybe its not about you reading it but more about me writing about it. I might write about the things I plan to do this year or things I have done in the past. Who knows, I might just write about sports if thats what I feel like. All I know is that I am a seasonal crossdresser and fall is coming up fast.